previous verse of the day Philippeans 2:12, 13.

2 down (FIN254 and BA202), 1 more tomorrow (BA392), MP (CS125) due tomorrow, find out if i must take FIN254 exam this weekend. monday CS125 exam. wednesday 2 BA392 projects due. then that good ol' times. cant blog blog, need prayer and faithfulness. may the glory of God shine through! in these hard times, it helps me taste what my faithfulness could be. praise God, perfecter of me!

previous verse of the day: Isaiah 41:10.

blogs are bad when internet is slow...time for exams...what kinds of teachers put 3 exams in 3 days in a row but make a rule that you cant take the conflict unless they are all with 24 hours? like having your exams spread like this is easier...in 72 hours i'll party with you! Praise God!!

God is so good. farewell service was really blessing. more on it when i can...

my "toothache" i mention a couple blogs is not a real toothache. it's my strange way of illustrating something God is trying to change in my life (see 4/20/2002 9:22:04). sorry for the confusion. i will explain what it realy is. i just want to have time to sit and share it well with you.

prayer requests are fo more faith, see exam schedule (4/25/2002 8:25:20), and thank God for continued discipline and growth in my life. all by His grace.

praise God He got me up this early in the morning to prepare for exams!
praise God i was able to study at all.
by His strength and grace alone...
verse this day: Romans 3:23, 34

To those leaving CFC, junior class presentation, a song of God's faithfulness:

[Verse 1]
Because of your unfailing love I am not shaken
You give me life, a hope, and a future
You give me strength to stand up against the crashing waves
In you I trust, the rock on which I stand

[Chorus 1]
So I sing this song of praise. (I worship you)
I will raise my voice and shout for joy
To you I give all the glory (all my days)
For you heard my cry, help me to obey. (Forever Lord)

[Verse 2]
Now when trials come our way, we will cling to the cross.
For you are made perfect in our weakness
Open the floodgates of heav'n, and pour your blessing on us.
For you never change, your love endures forever.

[Chorus 2]
So we sing this song of praise. (We worship you)
We will raise our voice and shout for joy
To you we give all the glory (all our days)
For you heard our cry, help us to obey. (Forever Lord)

[Bridge] - 3x
(1 - all:"I"; 2&3 - girls:"we", guys:"better is one day...")

I (we) worship you
with gladness and sing
With all my (our) heart
For all my (our) days I (we) will trust in you
And I'll (we'll) remember you forever and ever more.
Better is one day in your courts
Better is one day in your house
Better is one day in your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
Better is one day, better is one day
And we'll remember you forever and ever more.

[Chorus 2] - a cappella

[Chorus 2]

(Lyrics by amy kim)

(same as my prayer request with small group)
Praise God for His faithfulness! please keep me in prayers as i have many exams coming up and i need help to focus and to be diligent. please pray that i will learn more and more who i really am and be reminded of the cross that my Savior died upon. may God teach me humbleness and the Holy Spirit work to help me. pray that i will keep you in prayers too. PRAISE our LORD!
Gill

exams:
monday, april 29 - 7pm FIN254
tuesday, april 30 - 8:30am BA202
wednesday, may 1 - 3pm BA392
saturday, may 4 - 9am FIN254 optional final (i might not have to take this depending on monday exam)
monday, may 6 - 8am CS125

final works:
wednesday, may 1 - 11:59pm CS125 mp7 due
friday, may 3 BA392 final project, seminar paper

here's what's going on with me as promised to kathy, frank's younger sister who now blogs. yay for blog (blogger non-friends, stop causing traffic, i need to blog sometimes and if you're all on when i am it makes it hard and i still stink at remembering things...heheh just kidding...).

i'm a junior at university of illinois (good thing for edit...i donno how to spell, more mistakes to come). i'm 21, yay for old crickety(thanks emi for spelling) me! i love God!! i have my second car cuz i crashed my first one, cry! babycar1 was pearl '91 300zx 2+2. new babycar2 is white '91300zx 2+2. yay so pretty!! so clean, so white, so fast, go babycar2! perfect black leather, $700+ front and back bumper police radar detector, 3 disc changer on origional $2000+ bose system. lots of new origional parts, no aftermarket poo-poo. labeled "BBOY81", but for some reason the state has it as "BBOYB1". why? why?? stinkin cause so much problems...

okay i think i lost kathy's attention, here's better stuff. this summer i'll go to asia. hongkong, china, korea [e M i G f x: have fun at Korea, uh.uh, hometown China, who yOo got huh? e M i G f x: ;-)] and then the tour stops in taiwan where i will work as a teacher teaching my bad english...i no know english? underpossible!

i donno what else is going on...i'm majoring in MIS, management information systems under CBA here. future in undetermined. i wanna stay in chicago after i graduate and help at TPC, taiwanese presbyterian church, yay home church in des plains.

living with one of my really really great childhood friends tim kim next year! he's awesome. yay for unicoRn, where we're living. all the girlies chase him so i hope i dont get trampled next year.

what else? not that really think about it, or that anyone cares, but i have no girlfriend. did i cover everything? i guess kathy or whoever can ask me questions. as you can see i enjoy talking about myself. stinkin heart motive. get deep. i love Jesus!

i dont have time for this thing...but i make time for it...i feel like that one passage...i do what i dont want to and what i want to i dont do...i dont know why that passage came to me so easily. i didnt even read it this week. most of what i've been reading has been pertaining to my "toothache." i want to explain it now, but i dont think i can in the little time i want to put into this. so you're just gonna have to call me. we just had our last small group Bible study. i have to evaluate small group; members, leaders, dynamics, Bible studies, CFC, etc., but i cant bring myself to putting anything down. it has to do with what's going on with me.

on a lighter note, i forgot to mention that i chopped off my hair saturday night. it's really not that important to me, but obviously a lot of people notice it and make me...self-concious about it? i'm still the same guy with the same struggles...what do you think?

3 hard days in a row. learning a lot from God, but not depending on Him enough. why am i so hard? i really need to get right otherwise these exams are gonna be my ruin. pray for my dependance and concentration.

talked to leigh ann on the phone yesterday briefly. i think meeting in person is easier for us, but staying in touch with her is important to me so i dont mind the awkwardness of the phone. i'm just not a phone person. internet and college has caused this. whenever i want to meet someone i just meet with them in person. and if we're too far apart i stay in touch with them through the internet. the phone is just my way to contact people prior to meeting in person. i think it's cuz i like to see their eyes and expressions to understand who i'm talking to. also i'm slow so it takes time for me to process and respond. the phone is just too fast paced for me. but i dont mind practicing if it means i get to talk to you and hear what's going on!

i'm learning a lot from God. i've shared a lot of what's going on with roger, my accountability partner. we've been praying on a lot of topics and trying to keep each other accountable. i've been more convicted about getting the Word in my head. i plan on carrying a verse or passage on a note card with me everyday i can remember. picking it out from QT or Bible study or anything. just as long as the living Word is with me. it's far too easy for me to carry around the Bible closed, hidden away. a note card in my pocket is always noticed cuz i dont like awkward things in my pocket and it pokes me when i sit, shift and whatnot. please ask me what verse i have to keep me accountable. thanks!

school is closing in. i dont realize it but i do. i need prayer that i will study hard and that i can remmeber what i learn so that i can do well on exams and give more glory to God that He deserves. school hasnt been a strong point for me since high school. i got into this mode of, grades and scores dont matter, but more and more i realize that as a student for God and Him being so faithful and bringing me here i need to do this for Him. if i could just realize and hold it true in my heart. pray for me! thanks!!

much love to God, He deserves it all.

God is so good. although i have this "toothache" and must go in for surgury, i was reminded that i can be at peace and have hope for joy to come. God, help me to not forget. help me to come to repentance. stir in me change and continue to work in me.

i'm sorry i'm being so vague...if anything i hope it will help you ask me specific questions that i need to address. you might be able to wait and see if i ever get to explaining these things, but i'm in such failure level of my heart motive that i cant bring my self to posting it up. but you can feel free to ask me about it and i will share openly one-on-one. i will be glad to pick up the tab.

more!
met with Sak, abel 8 small group leader. humble my heart God! i'm going to make a better effort to memorize and really take to heart the Word of God.

Praise God that He is making me realize so much. although the process of His refining hurts like oral surgery, He's getting to the root of my problems and is going to get rid of it so that i dont rot away. here something i just thought up...i hope this illustration makes sense (i think Sak explained it as treating cancer, as well others have too, but i know little about that...but much thanks med student Sak!):

in the same way that i might have a tooth ache, just realizing it or finding temporary solutions doesnt change a thing. putting ice on the soreness or taking medication only solves the issue temporarily, but it doesnt get rid of the bad root. eventually the tooth will continue to hurt and even get worse. just like God, only a dentist who knows the problem well enough to get rid of the bad tooth. but if the patient doesnt realize the issue at hand and go in for a checkup then what work can be done on the tooth? what use is temporary solutions if a root canal is needed? if nothing is done the tooth will fall out right? it might or it might cause other teeth to rot. bad teeth or no teeth is not something desireable. so this is where i'm at...

i've been icing and taking medication, even starving myself cuz i cant bear the pain. it's even gotten to the point that others know i have this toothache. i dont recall liking being around someone with a toothache..but now i realize i must go in for oral sugury. i'm very nervous cuz i know from past experiences it hurts, but in the end i will be a better person. i will be able to eat again. i will be much happier without the toothache. i'll be bearable. God is so good.

oh wow, dentists are so cool!! which reminds me...one of my really close high school friend is going into pre-dentristy, i should pray for him.

on a lighter note, i sent an email to frank lin and got a response quite timely...here's his website http://tuftsra.topcities.com/center.html in case you wanna get to know him...no stalking! i'll probably have to take it off when i get complaints of random girls chasing after him.

this next part is for frank and i...i donno why you would wanna read this or if it would make sense...you must have more time on your hands than me...
###################
nevermind i'm taking that long section out...

i donno how to continue thoughts cuz i forget stuff...but here's more...

CFC Large Group and Lock-In were awesome (http://www.cfchome.org). Pastor Min was really awesome. he's such a humble man of God. i thank God he shares so openly and freely with the church. imagine telling over 600 people each week what God is doing in your life. amazing! he shared some phrases he thinks and says to himself to remind and ackknowledge his place in God's work. it was so blessing.

lockin was a good experience for abel 8. i praise God each time we get together. i love small group. we prayed and had worship all night. we had games and food, then praise and another sermon, then individial prayertime, corporate prayertime, and partner prayertime. all with some praise songs inbetween and at the end. i met a couple new people at lockin through games (catherine from far/par? i donno how she knew my name...) and mini small groups. in my miniSG we had 3 freshmen, hannah bai(abel), danny and bess kim(both isr, no relation). karen(abel) and alice(abel 8) were in miniSG too. i really love and appreciate the freshman class. they are so blessing and growing so much. i am blessed by their class. i wish i still had that kind of love for my class, but somewhere along the line i lost it. there's some class events coming up. maybe we can grow close again. it's been too long for me as far as class activities. also saw bebe from illinois weslyn? she comes down to uiuc with her friends a lot, but this time she decided to go to lockin instead of out to party. i met another freshman during the partner prayer time? he goes to agape and i thought of introducing him to danny kim since he mentioned not having a home church in southside chicago. we got back from lockin at 7am. only by God's grace can mere people worship such an awesome God. PRAISE GOD! some abel 8ers had breakfast before parting for the...morning.

woke up at 1:15pm for abel men picnic at 2pm. what a great group of men. all running after God together. i love this area. there's only about 30 or so of us, but it's so blessing to see God's work in each of us. we ate good off the grill thanks to dennis and then played football. it was great fellowship. sang worship songs and prayed for one another afterwards before departing. how blessing!

i know i'm missing a lot of blogging, but i can think of it...lots of work to do...

so what's been going on? been quite lazy...i know i need to work harder, but i have no deadlines, no pressing exams. most importantly i need to remember not to slack off in my walk. i need to get off my bum and run this race. why am i so circumstancial? God is teaching me to be disciplined, to be faithful. so i'll do my best.

today's a cool day. woke up for morning prayer to pray with roger. got to eat breakfast with a lot of abelites (thanks for the reminder Lauren!). saw a lot of abel 4 members (my last year small group; Jin, Jeanie, Edwin, Jedi). then came back to rest before class. came back online and saw catherine yoon. another abel 4 member; out in the workfield in korea. she's such an awesome example of a great Christian woman. a lot of abel girls looked up to her. she was so faithful. i admire her a lot too. i plan on meeting up with her in korea this summer.

i met with tim today for lunch. how cool is that? we talked about our worries and plans for next year. i am so looking forward to living with him. i hope we have a good experience. if we keep in mind that we must be strong and spur each other on i think that's where we will grow, in friendship and in our walk.

i got to meet with jenny tseng today after lunch too. that was cool. it's so encouraging to see her growing. roger met with her too. she's from our home church. she graduates this semester. she's worried about the future. there's not much of a job market anywhere. jenny and her friends are gonna be in taiwan for the first month of summer break and then search for jobs. i got to pray with her, for her future. i told her about my plans to stay in chicago with TPC after graduation. a lot of people are really unsure of future and i am too. but to have hope in God is such a blessing.

i'll have to update again soon. roger just came by to invite me to go shoot around. yay time for ball!

lockin is this weekend. ABEL men picnic is this weekend. lots to do and so many activites. hopefully i can put my worries aside and just have passion for worship this weekend. i'm trying to stay strong with quiet times and prayer and the Word. the weather has been great and the amount of school work is less than my busiest times. so i will take advantage of all God blesses us with. prayer for you and me? definitely!

i crave bubble tea...

i'm bored, no exams or major work until finals time...i need to stay strong when my circumstance doesnt call for help...keep me accountable in worshipping Him!

so what's new?
went home this weekend on a whim. still learning lots. still loving God. still sick...weak weak weak...i have money, who wants to go out? one more month of school...what else do you want to know? i dont think i'm cut out for this blog thing...i'm such an old man...

i finally get to blog! let's catch you up right away...

thursday through Sunday was itasa. i wasnt able to join in on all the fun and activities, workshops and whatnot, cuz of busy-ness, but i had my share of activities with itasa/TAF people. it was great. people from all over the country getting together once again. obviously it's like a big TAF reunion, but new college friends from afar we're invited too. people dont realize what it means to be taiwanese. that's okay, cuz they are welcome to learn. as i blogged previous to this update (this is confusing, but you'll catch on), i was quite a sick boy. i was blaming my inadequecy to love and give worship to God. some close friends told me to not be so hard on myself. to not be so self-defeating, so i re-evaluated why i was like that. i met with God and we chatted. i was not a happy boy. i was too caught up in living for my and other people's standards. although high standards are good and all, they were not God's standards of me up to this point. He wants my heart, not my actions. so He told me to go enjoy myself, worship Him in the process, and dont stray too far, not that enjoying myself meant going away from Him by any means. i have this inner desire to always be with Him, so it would be highly impossible, but also since i'm flawed, not totally unthinkable. so what happened? i took God to itasa with me. i lived happily with my friend and went to itasa to play. whether with Christian or nonChristian friends, we enjoyed each others company. any opportunity to bring my friend into the conversation and i jumped on it. God was pleased and i was so in His joy that i can still not put it into words. i was a happy boy.
**highlights of itasa for me - meeting more taiwanese-american/taiwanese interested from all over the country and this campus. seeing many many TAF friends from umich, NY, chicago and campus. playing ball, although i can anytime, i dont play too often, and i got rocked cuz i was intimidated by the brothers i played with. having deep interesting conversations with TAF friends late night and talking about God in my life. saying goodbye to itasa friends, knowing it's not the end, but another step in our relationship taken.

sunday night through wednesday night was all about the CS, computer science 125 (java). i dont understand it all, but God blessed me and honored my attempt to work hard for Him. CS mp5 was due 11:59pm monday night. i pretty much turned in my finished running mp at the last second. it didnt work exactly, but it ran which is amazing to me. many many friends to thank for help. right after finishing it my attention went from coding to CS theory for the exam this wednesday night. from monday morning on i read lecture notes and by tuesday 2am i was able to begin taking past exams to see if i knew what i learned. only by God's strength and in His presence was i able to get that far. i didnt realize how much i got done in the little time i was able to dedicate to CS. but when i look back at it, it was all because i was in God's presence. people could say, you did it by yourself, you studied hard, you learned the matterial, you did the work, but then you dont know me very well. i am no computer science wiz. i am no study king. i didnt know any of the matterial and i dont know how i got the mp done, which helped me understand the lecture matterial. it was all in God's work. He gave me the way to finish the mp. He gave me the understanding to link related matterial. He stuck what He could in my mind. and all glory be His cuz i could not have done it on my own. because i fought to stay faithful to Him He honored my little faithfulness. He even helped me out by giving me friends to remind me to pray and worship Him when i began to rely on myself. Thanks God! i didnt want to go through so much work for You and then have to learn THAT lesson.
**faithful to the end He brought me and the only thing left is to see the grade. i am confident it is pretty decent, but i am not over confident that it was by any means my own work. God's grace and i must praise and lift praise to Him.

God taught me a lot this weekend didnt He? you reading this...keep me accountable by asking me about my Quiet Times (you dont have to know what it is, just ask me if i'm doing it and if you want, ask me about it). ask me what i'm reading in the Word. ask me who the last person i shared my walk with (how i'm doing). ask me the last time i thanked God. reflection and meditation to come...

God is really helping my study for this thing. i hope i can glorify His name through this. still staying strang. so much to share...

a lot happened this weekend, but i'm so busy now that i can't get to it. just finished my CS 125 mp, well at least it was due so i had to turn it in. i have the exam in that class on Wednesday so i have to use all my time and energy to study for it. i'll update on the weekend sometime soon...i hope i remember...

my heart is getting stronger. my body is healing. all by God's grace. i am learning that i need not be down on myself. i need to have joy in the WORD. i saw my Christian brothers and sisters enjoying themselves so outta place, but in His grace. God wants us to be happy. we have been forgiven already. there's no need to think we could take away from the blood shed for us. JOY JOY JOY in His Spirit! Thank you JESUS!!

you guys are right, i'm defeating myself. love God.

I'm not faithful enough to God. so after i felt better last night i didnt really thank God enough, cuz i feel bad again. head ache, not burning like last time. God can cure me, but when i'm doing well i just ignore Him. i think He's trying to teach me to be thankful even in good times. or maybe something else. i dont think i'm too hard on myself. like i said, i dont wanna just make it through the flames. i want to run this race!

i guess it was more like two and a half hours ago and posting it let it keep the time i finished it...if you're wondering, just cuz i update this a lot doesnt mean all my thoughts go here, plus some people think i talk in code...

God is good!

that previous post was four hours ago, but it wouldnt publish when i wrote it, server overload or something. now i'm better. someone out there is praying on my behalf. THANKS JESUS!

i must be doing something wrong cuz my head is on fire...i am sick so much...i need to persevere and pray more. i need help, but i dont want anyone to serve me cuz that's what i would desire. i need to rely on God. help me to rely on God. tell me to rely on God! i'm gonna try, but i need support. i'm gonna die fighting til the end. bear fruit til the end...WORSHIP God! no other way.

CS 125 kicks my butt....

my contacts stink...my eyes hurts...i'd rather go around campus blind...should i buy new glasses or new contacts?

these are some busy times...i think i look too far ahead...i'm so different this year. not sure if that's all good or not.. i'm so protective of my heart from people. i seem to have developed my respect-me minor. if you dont know what that is, you can look it up on http://cfchome.org and search for heart motives. i'm like in this protect-me-from-others-hurting-me-mode. it's hard to get into, but pretty much when i have really really close friends, through circumstances they leave me and the relationship. i mean i shouldnt expect anything in return when in a relationship. i should be sacrificing and wanting to serve my close friend, but my heart motive causes me to demand more love then any person can give me. so i need to learn to repent and redeem this thing, that's the point of heart motives.

anyway, long discussions, so i'll just go back to what i origionally meant. i have lots of projets and hard exams coming up. i seem unable to stay on track in classes, cuz i am busy with other classes that have earlier due dates. and when i finish those the next exam or project comes up. i find myself always cramming cuz i was unable to keep up. this is one hardest things about college for me. cuz i want to learn the matterial, but with schedules and requirements, i have to adhere to them to do well, or moderately well or even pass, in my case...

wow this things seems to get deep, or at least in my head...can you cipher this?

so in the last 48 hours or less i've met with roger, sarah, alice, and luke...so much prayers. Thank God!

TPC - i'm supposed to go to hong kong, china, korea, and taiwan this summer. i'll be gone from may to august, the whole summer pretty much. lately i've had convictions to stay in chicago and help out with YG. especially because it's been my conviction to really serve them in the past. being home this past break has given me more open and loving eyes for the youth at my church. i donno what i'm gonna do cuz the ticket has been bought and paid for. i'm not sure what to do. i'm supposed to teach in taiwan, so i have obligations to carry that out too. i hope that i will get guildance in this.

small group - i know a lot of us are going through a lot of different struggles. it just shows how much God loves ABEL 8 and wants us to grow. lately i've realized He wants us to go to Him and pray for one another. i feel like i've failed in this. i meet with a few of them consistantly, but when it comes to knowing and praying for them even when they are doing well, i lack. i need to serve my small group. we need a lot of prayer.

i meant to update this, but it was having problems and might still be...

please pray for me for these things. if you dont like praying, please ask me about these things...

my roommate - i try to love him. i used to love him so much when we were close friends, but i'm so sinful and selfish that our relationship is nothing more than people who share the same living space. i'm so in need of God's grace in this. i'm so bad, that he thinks i dont like him. pray for me to abide in His love.

more prayer requests to come...

info on taiwan: http://asia.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/asiapcf/east/03/31/taiwan.quake/index.html

i have a really bad memory. i hope i can remember and put down breifly the blessings this weekend...Sunday was filling to the brim of God and His loving grace. after tim's game i had about an hour nap and it was time to go to CFC sunrise service at Wesley church. We were the first small group to arrive so we were front and center. the message was on 1 Corintians 15, focusing on the converstaion between the criminals and Jesus on the cross. fyi - this passage is supposed to be one of the more descriptive of His grace and sacrifice; 1 Corintians 13 is on the love. anyway, throughout the sermon all i was thinking was am i the other criminal? the one who didnt understand who Jesus was? the one who hurled insults along with the crowd? was that me? the other criminal understood Jesus. he was going to see Jesus in paradise that day. do i understand my own sins or am i too arrogant to accept them as my own. all i could do during the reflection and prayer time was hold back my tears and pray that i would understand. i am so lacking.

we had breadfast together as a small group afterwards. then we had time to nap again before 12:30pm service. Baptism service was also so blessing. being reminded that God works in the hearts of the most sinful beings. i guess God answers prayers. i must have had allergies to something in lincoln and my eyes were hurting from bad contacts so i had to water them...

missions dinner was good too. roger, lin, becky and sarah joined in too about talking about TPC. i believe roger and i have convictions to help out with ourr hometown ministry. obviously we feel inadiquet to do any good, but it's all God. it's all prayers. we need to understand that. sarah and i were able to talk more indepth on it later that night dropping her off at A&D. actually we talked about a lot. my roommate, her GD conviction, TPC, small group , so much. God is so good, but i have so little faith and so much to repent about. more on all this later...